I’m Having a Breakfast Baby

People of the world! Can we all agree on something now? That if you don’t know a woman is expecting, it is never ok to ask what she is having. Because I’m not. Having anything. At least not now. And I thought I looked really cute in this dress and boots today, but since you stopped me in the hallway with well-wishes, I’m wishing that I had added some Spanx to my wardrobe.

You see, I have a belly. An actually stomach that pooches out more than I’d like. A lot of women have them. I don’t work out or pretend that I’m doing anything to make it go away. Most days, my belly and I get along just fine. Maybe it’s the pleats in the dress or the way that I didn’t button my cardigan all the way down. Maybe it’s bloated from the delicious Danish that I had at breakfast. But now, it’s all I will think about today.

Instead of walking around feeling cute like I did when I left my house this morning, I’ll be hunched over for the rest of the day and sucking in my stomach and wishing I could just get home and hide in some giant T-shirt under a blanket where no one will look at me.

So, from now on, ask yourself… “Do I know this woman? Do I know that she is having a baby?” If not, “What are you having- a boy or a girl?” is not an appropriate good morning. And “I’m sorry,” when you’re corrected won’t make it right. Just hope you never run into me again. Because I will rub that belly of mine and next time when you ask what I’m having, my answer will be “Breakfast.”



Filed under Daily Life

3 responses to “I’m Having a Breakfast Baby

  1. You did not ask for my advice and you can certainly delete it if you want to, but I thought that I would share with you my ridiculously easy diet that I lost 35 lbs on and achieved a 36″ waist for the first time in 30 years.

    Simply eat 3 cartons of 80 cal fruit yogurt for breakfast and the same for lunch and then have a normal dinner. Because yogurt is protein it keeps you feeling full and avoiding those snacking hunger pangs. If you do get a hunger pang simply eat another carton of yogurt.

    Think about it you are only consuming less than 500 cals for two whole meals. There is more cals in that danish alone.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  2. Pure Klass

    People are TERRIBLE JERKS.
    The fact that this is something that even needs to be said…just uncool! Until a lady says OUT LOUD TO YOU “I am having a baby!” there is never an ok time to mention your assumption that she is pregnant. (That being said, your future answer made me laugh… out loud.)

  3. (((HUGS)))

    I’m sorry that happened. 😦

    Even when there was a terrible accident outside our house, where a car accidentally hit our last house, I was afraid to say a woman was pregnant because I wasn’t totally sure. Turns out, she was 8 months pregnant. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings if she read the 911 transcript later.

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