Perhaps it’s that lack of sleep I mentioned earlier, but life is passing by in a bizarre dream-like manner these days. Days start and stop without warning. Nights are full of insanity- this week’s dreams included a creepy man with finger puppets, an exploding horse, a mafia kidnapping, some Twitter people on a hijacked bus, and a building I could only access by wading through a river. I’m napping when I can, only to wake up at bizarre hours. Last night, I slept from 8 to 10:30 pm and then stayed up writing until 4 am, only to get back up for work by 8 am. I’m a zombie, minus the brain-eating.
Nevertheless, I’ve had some good times. Maybe because my brain’s filters are completely off, maybe because I have great friends, or maybe I’ve dreamed them all. I’m trying this new thing, because I’m too tired to make excuses, where I say yes. Yes to joining some friends to watch a charity video game event live, yes to a late night dinner, yes to a birthday happy hour, and tonight, yes to murder mystery dinner with a group for Valentine’s Day.
And the yes seems to work for me. I could have begged off tonight and stayed in with a chick flick in my pj’s. It was cold outside and started hailing at the bus stop. I was exhausted. But, I went. And, surprise! I had a really great time laughing and eating Italian food and solving the mystery. I sipped a glass of sangria and laughed at all the silly over-the-top jokes. I wore my cute skirt and my purple tights. I smiled at the beautiful gray-haired couples celebrating their 30th or 40th Valentine’s Day. And instead of choosing to feel pitiful, I felt glad. I was happy that other people are in love. Not jealous, not mopey, not whiny. Just happy. Actually happy.
So, to you and whoever your Valentine was this year, a belated Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m happy for you. This year, friends were my valentines. At least, I think they were. Maybe I just dreamed it.