Do Me a Favor

Actually, don’t. I am notoriously awful at asking for help. On anything. If I can do something all by myself, even at the risk of great misery, suffering, and potential physical injury, I will. I admit it.

I try to think of this as an endearing independent streak. And thinking about “something you never get compliments on,” for the 30 days of truth, it would be a biggie. Well, and no one ever compliments me on being tall or deeply tanned… but at 5’0″and redheaded, those are to be expected. It seems that other human beings in this world are capable of asking for help when they need it without hemming and hawing for weeks and making everyone else guess what they need. Odd.

For example, when my giant television died, in all its 200 pound glory, it needed to go out the curb on trash night. I know lots of menfolk. And muscle-y womenfolk for that matter. All of whom, had I bothered to ask them, would have come over for the ten minutes it would take to help me drag the beast out the front door. But instead, I developed a complicated maneuver with a throw rug and dragged it out, rolling it down the steps, despite its being bigger than me. I didn’t want to bother anyone. Even if it meant possibly ending up under said television just out of reach of my cell phone waiting to be rescued by my newspaper guy and sucking water from a houseplant to survive for several days.

The thing is, I like to do favors for other people. If you need something last-minute and at midnight and that involves personal sacrifice, I will show up with bells on and a bottle of champagne. Gladly. Without thinking twice. And I’ll never mention it again once it’s done. But I have an impossible time asking others to do the same for me. I guess I worry that they’ll resent helping me, or god forbid, say no when I really need it. I don’t want to be disappointed, any more than I want to be a burden.

The time has come though, for me to learn to ask. To give people who love me a chance to help me out once in a while. So, if there’s such a thing as daylight savings time resolutions, this is mine: ask for help when I need it.



Filed under Building a Better Me, Friends

3 responses to “Do Me a Favor

  1. Jean

    There’s not a kinder act in the world than allowing those that love you to help you when you need it, and even sometimes when you don’t.

  2. You really need to raise your self esteem.

    Besides men love to rescue damsels in distress, especially petite red headed ones. Men also need to be needed. When you project an absolute picture of utter independence, you scare off men.

    Men want interdependence which is healthy. There are some real advantages to upper body strength and muscles as well as a guy who is handy at fixing things.

    You are much more likely to actually get married so that you can have a baby with a real father if you change your attitudes. Men want to be appreciated for how hard they try to take care of you.

    This is one of the fallacies of feminism. Far too many women think that they can do everything that a guy can and perhaps even out do a guy at a typical guy job. Embrace your feminity, brag on his mucles and compliment him on how easily he handles the tough life threatening task of removing an oversized tv from your living room. Better yet, have him hook up the new tv and then make him a nice home cooked meal and try a little romance. Far too many women have the notion that romance is supposed to only go in one direction. Men want to be romanced as well, but most of all they want to feel respected and needed and appreciated.

    Just saying
    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  3. PS, lets suppose you adopt a daughter. Are you going to infect her with your insecurities and tell her that it is hopeless to find a man to marry her and that if she wants to have kids that she will have to adopt or get artificially inseminated? The best gift that you can give a daughter is a daddy of her own.

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