What About the Canadian?

It’s been a little while since I’ve updated you all on my Canadian friend…

After I left San Francisco, we linked up on Facebook and started chatting. For hours. Two days later, I ended up headed to Vegas. And due to last minute travel discounts, so did the Canadian. Yup. Three days of gambling, walking around taking pictures everything, including each other, talking about life, relationships, over dinner, over drinks. It was a whirlwind romance… the kind only Vegas can provide, complete with cheesy pictures by the Eiffel Tower, in front of NY, by the Venetian canal, and near various Greek statues.

By the end of the three days, we were both a little bummed that it had to end, and that for the most part, it would be over- borders between us, star-crossed lovers, and whatnot. I, a little more cynical, looked at it all as a lovely summer fling with a lovely person that was completely worth it for what it was.

Two days later, the phone rings. The Canadian! Complete with a July invite to Vancouver for a visit and to see where the moment led. In the throes of my recent spontaneity, I dashed off and ordered a passport. I scanned for cheap flights. I became rapidly addicted to Facebook chats to Vancouver. I expanded my cell service to cover international phone calls.

And then? Well, then the Canadian asked if we were a couple. And started sending postcards. One or two at first. Then, some days, five or six. Then a package. Which to most people probably sounds extremely romantic. But to me, battered old cynic that I am, well, it was all a bit much. My cell phone would ring. And if I didn’t answer, the g-chat window would pop open. Then Facebook chat. Then a text message. Don’t get me wrong, I love attention, and like to think I drive ’em wild, but I don’t like to feel like the inevitable prey in a Lifetime movie.

I asked if we could back down a bit, which I hoped was subtle. No dice. Then I mentioned being too busy to give the Canadian enough attention. Which led to emails saying it was good enough if I could call once every two weeks. And by the time another batch of five postcards arrived, well, I’d had enough. 

I left it at “I’m not over my ex yet.” Which may or may not be true, but sounded like a safer bet than, “I think you have way too much free time and your version of romance is creepy and sucking the life out of me.” There are probably women who would die for that much attention from a perfectly nice person. But me, well sugar, I’m too busy having a life here to make it revolve around someone I just met, lovely or no.



Filed under Relationships

7 responses to “What About the Canadian?

  1. cartersblog

    As a Canadian, please do not let his questionable behavior ruin our rep.

    Take it for what it was – a great few weeks …

  2. Gigi

    Ugh! The overkill! I feel your pain. I am very sensitive to this when it happens. I start thinking this person must be desperate or weird to have to contact someone so much in one day. And then he will literally start to repulse me! Like you said, there is definitely a girl out there who would eat this stuff up, but she is not you…and probably never will be. I say chalk it up to a summer fling.

  3. That much attention is too much. Period. And I suspect that people who would kill for that kind of flowery over-the-top insane creepy crap either have absolutely no experience with a real relationship or are incredibly insecure and need constant reassurance that they are lovable. I mean, not to be judgmental or anything.

  4. This guy sounds like trouble. He sounds a guy who is desperately needy for a relationship and/or to get laid. I had a similar experience this past week. Met a guy, seemed nice at first, very considerate with nice manners, then escalating attempts to see/meet me beyond my stated boundaries. We’d only had about two and a half hours of total communication by phone or in person and I decided he was nice but we didn’t mesh. I called him to tell him so and boom! nice manners be damned, he called me some nasty names and left an obscene message on my voicemail.
    very creepy. You got off easy.

  5. technology is an over-communicator’s dream come true. everything in moderation, buddy!

  6. Marianne Renoir

    while it does sound like a little too much…please take care that you aren’t falling into the trap of only being attracted to unavailable/dysfunctional relationships where the guy doesn’t give a damn about you. I see that all the time with my sister, she is ONLY attracted to guys that treat her like shit basically…all the guys who give her the kind of attention she always says she wants she writes off as too ‘needy’ straight off the bat for showing a bit of romance and enthusiasm.

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