Because I love a good quiz, I signed up to be interviewed by the Grumpy Young Lady. The insightful brilliance that follows was written before 7 a.m. You have been warned:
1. If you could bring back one famous/influential person back from the dead, who would it be and why?
That’s a toughie. There are all kinds of famous and influential writers I would bring back from the dead just to talk to about writing, or drink with, or make out with because of their brilliance. That, however, seems a little selfish with my new powers to raise the dead.
I could probably solve a whole lot of drama if I dragged Jesus back to earth to answer some questions for all of the confused folks out there who somehow got hate and murder out of his teachings. At least he could remind everyone about that “love one another” business that so many have forgotten.
2. Toilet paper – do you scrunch or fold?
I wrap around my hand, like a mitt. Is that folding? Well, whatever it is, that’s how I manage.
3. Which do you prefer -Star Trek or Star Wars? If you do not like either – which fans are the craziest?
I have to say, I was never a big fan of either. My mother loves the original Star Trek and I went to see the first trilogy of the Star Wars movies in the theatre when I was a kid. But really, I must admit I haven’t stayed in touch with either one since the mid-80’s. Personally, I think you have be a little more, um, special, to be a Star Trek fan. Star Wars had infinitely cooler toys for kids and effects. There must be a warm, squishy, kitschy heart inside those Star Trek types.
4. What is your earliest childhood memory (or perhaps ‘image’)
My absolute earliest image is of the orange carpet in the apartment where we lived when it was just me, Mom, and Dad (around age 3 maybe?). It was the 70’s, so it was that color orange.
As for memories, the first one is actually of the time I jumped off my parents’ bed at age 3 and managed to careen head-first into the corner of the stereo system. I was bleeding from the forehead and my mom wrapped me up in my Holly Hobby bathrobe and away we went to the emergency room for stitches. Three year olds aren’t so good at sitting still for face stitches, so they strapped me to a table in a bright blue papoose to do the deed. I still have a very tiny white scar on my forehead.
5. What is it that you love about your best friend?
BC, homo extraordinaire, wins the best friend contest hands down. We’re approaching nine years of friendship and still finish eachother’s sentences and laugh at the same randomness on the street without even making eye contact. I love BC because he is smart, and funny, and humble, and practical in all the ways I am not, and we have the exact same pop culture reference pool. I love BC because he will sit and drink bourbon and Diet Coke with me until dawn and then suggest we go dancing. I love him because he’s a big ol’ lefty liberal do-gooder with a heart of gold. I love him because he loves books the way I love books. I love him because his fashion stopped with the Old Navy in college and we both bum around in the same weekend gear. I love him because I can have fun with him for less than five dollars a day. I love him because despite being a together grown up, he still has some hidden vulnerabilities and he lets me see them. I love him because he is the friend that will come over at four a.m. because I called him in tears. I love him because he understands growing up in the burbs and that Red Lobster is a fancy restaurant for special occasions. I love him because he will drink boxed wine. I love him because we spent a summer together as camp counselors and survived. I love him because he also decorates in Virgin Marys (but he has twelve years of Catholic school to back him up). I love that he doesn’t have cable tv (even though I think I might die a little inside if it was me). I love him because he arranges furniture to be sure the cats can see out the window. I love that he walks to work every morning. I love that he loves farmer’s markets. I love that he is a big ol’ Star Wars nerd on the inside. I love that he collects Grinch stuff. I love that he is the family that I have chosen for myself, but that doesn’t make it any less real.
And because this is how this works, I’m passing it on:
Would YOU like to feel famous for 5 questions? If you would like me to interview you, you just need to follow these rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
(Warning: If there are a lot of you who want interviewed, I reserve the right to be lazy and repeat questions to all of you, thereby creating my own private army of interview subjects and a good control group for my eventual world domination. Don’t say I didn’t warn you).