All over but the shoutin’

The phone rings- the ex-fiance’ checking on my medical test results (which still aren’t in, by the way). Initially, I’m grateful. Despite all the ugliness, it feels less like a severed limb that he actually cares if I’m sick and how seriously. No matter how little it comes up here, I do still feel the phantom limb of his no longer being my husband-to-be.

Until. He mentions staying out all night last night, and I can’t resist a snippy/ snide comment about other women. His reply? “Aren’t you over that yet?”

At which point my head burst into flames. Because NO, I am not over that yet. Because I can’t even imagine right now a time when I will be over that.  Over him, sure. Over the fact that someone I loved and trusted thought I deserved to be treated so badly, cheated on, and then that I should carry on and marry them. That is something I may never be over.

I know that in time the wedding that never happened and the relationship that was lost will fade in comparison to whatever life may come along the way. But apparently he still knows exactly how to make me explode. I have to give myself credit- there was a time the comment would have made me cry.

Now, however? It makes me seethe. Fume. Rage.

I think I found my anger after all.



Filed under Daily Life, Relationships, Soul Searching

8 responses to “All over but the shoutin’

  1. Anger is the 2nd step in the 5 stages of grief (according to Kubler-Ross). You’re making progress! And personally, I’d rather be mad than sad.

  2. That’s the reminder we all get that we can’t really pretend to be friends with someone who crushed our heart……Been there, done it, did it recently AGAIN, learned my lesson AGAIN….
    Anger..good for you. 🙂 I agree with Gigi.

  3. Wow! As a member of the male species, I can say that we sure can be very stupid sometimes.

  4. anger is soooo ok….
    good for you sugar…

  5. thank anything/everything holy you did not marry this person. anger is healthy (but not for the rest of your life, of course).

  6. I would have figured out a way to punch him through the phone…in the face.

  7. Anger is a good thing, and I think anger against that douche-bag is a really good thing. That you felt that way on your own definitely means you are moving on. You do not need him to define you, you do not need him in your life at all. It was nice that he called. What was even better was you discovering your inner strength. Good for you!

  8. Lina

    The Devil can take him, along with them accursed assignments, and stinkin’ Alabama! What an effin’ terrible, shitheady, thing to say… yes I just made up a new adjective especially for the ex and his assholeness (I apologize for my horrible word sense- I’ve been on the phone for an hour with “Layteesha” and my brain seems to have absorbed her dialect- hahahaha)

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