The phone rings- the ex-fiance’ checking on my medical test results (which still aren’t in, by the way). Initially, I’m grateful. Despite all the ugliness, it feels less like a severed limb that he actually cares if I’m sick and how seriously. No matter how little it comes up here, I do still feel the phantom limb of his no longer being my husband-to-be.
Until. He mentions staying out all night last night, and I can’t resist a snippy/ snide comment about other women. His reply? “Aren’t you over that yet?”
At which point my head burst into flames. Because NO, I am not over that yet. Because I can’t even imagine right now a time when I will be over that. Over him, sure. Over the fact that someone I loved and trusted thought I deserved to be treated so badly, cheated on, and then that I should carry on and marry them. That is something I may never be over.
I know that in time the wedding that never happened and the relationship that was lost will fade in comparison to whatever life may come along the way. But apparently he still knows exactly how to make me explode. I have to give myself credit- there was a time the comment would have made me cry.
Now, however? It makes me seethe. Fume. Rage.
I think I found my anger after all.