After seven days away, I’m back where I call home. Unfortunately, while I was gone no one came and cleaned my house or did my laundry. Why is that? Surely, there are little fairies who clean your house while you’re on business trips. They must have been busy and forgot.
The lingering acid reflux has not gotten better, but worse, so I’m off to the doctor on Monday morning before I go back to work. Daily Prilosec isn’t stopping me from waking up every night and throwing up for an hour and a half. And to be honest, I’m sick of being sick. It’s to the point where I just don’t want to eat anything ever again, but I suspect that would just make it all worse.
In news on the ex front, I actually managed to feel worse, if that’s at all possible. He found something I’d written in March mixed up in a box of his papers. About how I had doubts about the wedding because of his past indiscretions and I wondered whether I wanted to be with him at all. And somehow turned that into an indictment of me for putting him through all the yelling and drama and heartache when he did exactly what I worried about. Because apparently, in his mind, if I ever had doubts then he is off the hook for everything because I was stringing him along. This is the reason I stopped taking his calls for so long. Especially the ones in the middle of the night. But, like an IDIOT, I thought it had been a while and that I could end a phone call with him without feeling worse about myself. It can’t be done. My August resolution is stop answering, period. It never ends well. And this one made me feel so bad about myself that I’m still reeling a bit from the sting.
So, because I need projects, I’ll be finally hanging some of the 87 jillion prints and posters and framed art I have hiding behind the side table in the dining room. If I can’t like me today, I can at least like my apartment. Besides, I have to find somewhere to put all my books from the Philly and Orlando trip. And they just may fit behind that table if I squeeze them in just right. Well, except for The Poisonwood Bible. I absolutely insist that anyone who hasn’t read it rush out and read it immediately. It’s going on the main bookshelf with my favorites. As soon as I loan it and get it back from BC that is.