Self Improvement and Reverse Psychology

As I’ve mentioned before, nothing brings on the massive self-improvement project in me like a crisis. Since calling off the wedding, I’ve redone the bedroom, gotten a haircut, installed an airconditioner, and finished a week on Weight Watchers online (down eight pounds this week- thank you, heartache diet and bellydancing), rearranged the books on my bookshelves, bought new clothes, and started shopping more organic and veggie. This level of self-improvement cannot possibly be maintained, but it is keeping me busy, and for that I am grateful.

Over many bourbons this weekend, I hashed out the latest details of the break-up with BC. And the conclusion? The ex is clearly highly susceptible to reverse psychology. If only I had been savvy enough to do it intentionally. The minute I give him the boot, every word out of his mouth is about how in love with me he is, how I was the best thing he ever had, how he wants nothing more than to marry me and have children (immediately), how miserable he is without me, and how he could never apologize enough for hurting me and would do anything to have me in his life. When I was ready, willing, and waiting for him… well, we all know how that worked out.

Which makes me wonder, if I started begging him to call me all the time on my work phone (with no caller i.d.) maybe I could stop getting the phone calls of misery?



Filed under Daily Life, Relationships, Soul Searching

7 responses to “Self Improvement and Reverse Psychology

  1. Snoop Diggity-DANG-Dawg

    Don’t do it. Cut him off completely.
    Don’t talk to him.
    Don’t see him.
    Turn this page completely.

  2. Too little, too late. As my grandpa says, “Eleanor’s Trousers, you are slated for better men.” Well he doesn’t exactly say that but that’s his general theme.

  3. Luna

    I totally agree with Snoop Diggity-DANG-Dawg
    (love the name, by the way). You both need a clean break. Cut off all contact and let all the wounds scab over and heal.

  4. The end. That is the best way to end a relationship. And, the end is always the hardest part of a relationship.

  5. Pingback: The Weekend Wrap Up, as usual « ELEANOR’S TROUSERS

  6. I know you don’t know me, but I’ve been reading your blog for a little while now, and I have some totally unsolicited advice for you: Read “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft. The ex’s begging, whining, and acting nice are temporary. He no longer has control and he’ll do anything to get it back. I’ve been there. Don’t go there. It’ll just end in tears, again. Your local library should have a copy, or be able to get you one.

    Also, as a former member of the Heartache Diet club, please be careful – eight pounds in one week is too much to lose at once, I don’t care what the WW people are saying.

    Take care!

  7. ronni

    I just found out you are only 31. I found you on SK’s website–GIRL: Run! You are so FREE!!! Our (women) first real relationship usually turns out like yours did, only, WE ALREADY MARRIED THEM.

    You weren’t dumped, or cheated on: YOU GOT YOUR WISH. You knew this wasn’t the best–really, think about it, you knew this wasn’t what you wanted for the rest of your life.

    And as for books like The Rules–Read “mars and venus on a date” something like that. I used this book so I wouldn’t screw up on the blind date I KNEW was my man.

    Women; we know–You know what is best for you and WW (I’m 2 years and 3 months a lifetime member!), belly dancing, decorating, not going back to him no matter the poetry: YOU know.

    You are great. Stay great.

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