When even your snarky gay best friend calls you out on being “wittily acid-toned” beyond the pale, you have crossed the divide. That, my dears, is where I started my weekend.
After much deliberation, I decided to skip KT and her happy hubby’s pre-4th party on Thursday. I just wanted to be at home alone and mope, which would have made me miserable company. I slumped into the couch and some Girl Scout cookies from the freezer, ignored calls from the ex MIL and caught up on an entire season of the Legally Blonde: The Musical reality show from MTV. By about 10 pm, I decided to take myself around the corner for a quick cocktail and a sympathetic bartender, who quickly introduced me to half the people in the room, bless her heart. While I was meeting and greeting, V, who rides the same bus home every day as I do, asked me to join her crew for pool. I’m not much for bar games, but she and I pulled up seats at a nearby table and chatted.
After getting a brief “we’re not together anymore,” from me on the ex, she ponied up two invites for the weekend- fireworks with a group of their friends on the 4th and a Turkish feast dinner party for Saturday. Which amazes me. She and I really are mere acquaintances, and somewhere in the fog of adulthood I think I lost those make new friends social skills. Or I’m just so desperate for kindness at this point that it seemed like she was offering me a branch while I drowned in a river.
Friday, I slept in late and woke up to the realization that I had left in my contacts. Which had turned my left eye into an oozing, red, painful, light-sensitive disaster. I pulled on the birth control glasses, applied warm wash cloths, and finally by about 2 pm gave up on the day to suffer in the dark. Even opening my cell phone to text was too bright. The computer and the tv were out of the question. And I had to light cigarettes with my eyes closed because the flames scorched my eyeball (yes, I know- quit smoking). I called every eye doctor in town- who all were off, of course, enjoying a long weekend. I thanked V for the fireworks invite, but declined, and crawled into bed to sit and groan.
The ex and a friend were coming by for some of his things. Which only made it worse because I would prefer to look ravishing and irresistible when he stopped by, not like some bleary-eyed vampire hissing at the light and oozing eye gunk. He stopped upstairs, noticed my predicament, and even though I hate him, managed to rig up some dark towels over the windows, standing on a chair without turning on the light, and bring me a fresh washcloth before he left. He may have been an awful fiance’, but that was a small miracle that I will be eternally grateful for. I finally drifted off, in complete and total darkness.
(part two to follow)…