I have to say, sometimes I feel like I don’t have this great supportive network of people for the tough times. I have a hard time asking for help and a low tolerance for humiliation, so that keeps me fairly private. But this time, I have had some great people step up. I’m having a tough time stringing words together today, so I’ll pass along some greatest hits. (BC, of course, has gone one better and treated me to my very first meal in three days and a play which got me out of the house last night). I’m trying to have today be my last day staying home from work. And my first day with a shower.
From a co-worker (the tough, outdoorsy, ex-Marine in the next office):
That really sucks, but it’s better that you and your family know the quality of his character now, you deserve a helluva lot better than that…I’d be glad to give you a hand moving if you need it (I mean this sincerely). I am kinda lazy so if nothing else I can bring beer and supervise the process…. and contrary to what you’ve heard…..alcohol DOES start the healing. He’ll be a joke to you in your future family gatherings and holidays anyway…what a f**king tool.
From my baby sister, the Yuppie (who later drunk dialed and offered to give the fiance’ and the other woman a piece of her mind):
OMG! I’m sooooooo sorry!!!! What happened?? How did you find out??
Do you feel like talking about any of this right now, if not I’ll leave you alone, but if so can I call you tonight?
Love you bunches, everything will be fine!!
From my sister, the newlywed hippie and ninja:
I am so sorry to hear about the wedding and (fiance’)!! Didn’t I warn him not to hurt you, or I would have to kick his ass TaeKwonDo style!! Well, don’t take all of your sick days, you need to come here to visit us. I am off this summer, so you could come and just hang at out at our house. Hope you are doing o.k. Please call me as soon as you want to talk. I will be worrying about you. I love you Sis!!!
From my college friend of 13 years, now back in NYC:
Oh that’s good that the apartment’s in your name — I wasn’t sure. Did you give (fiance’) a deadline?
And I completely get that you’re in no place for nights on the town right now, but do let me know when you’re in the next phase (I’m in Phase 2 myself right now after basically 8 months in Phase 1 — but I promise you it’s only because I was completely isolated in fucking Vermont and had not one friend there, you’ll graduate phases much faster than me, I promise, I promise!). And if you come for a city weekend, I promise we can either have fun or be a total mess and I won’t judge or be irritated by you. And feel free to give me messy late-night phone calls if you need to!
Ugh. So, so sorry. Horrible.
From my new boss (not BBB), who actually has a heart:
Let us know if there is anything we can do. We are only a phone call away.
From Mom and Dad:
I’m sorry we’re not there to hug you. Give us a call as soon as you feel like you can; if you don’t call soon, we’ll call you anyway. The good thing, I guess, is that you did found out about (fiance’) now, rather than after the ceremony. Is there anything I can do to help? What are you doing about the apartment? Have you been paying all the rent? Is the lease in your name or both? You might want to find a place of your own. Do you want to transfer your job or find something different? Remember, you can always come home, anytime you want. I miss you all the time. I was just looking at pictures a few days ago–still trying to clean up the bedrooms unsuccessfully. Maybe you just need to be back in the South! If you’re taking time off from work, why don’t you fly home? Air Tran still has some good fares. Don’t sit around and be miserable. You are wonderful and (fiance’) isn’t! We all love you. Mom and Dad
From the cute shoes bureaucrat planning the bachelorette party next month:
Subject: oh shit…
Sorry, after I sent you the first message, I saw your post down below. I am so sorry to hear what happened. Call me when you feel up to it.
From four of the fiance’s buddies:
- “Sorry to hear what happened. If you need anything let me know.”
- “I’m sorry to hear. I talked to him last night and he didn’t say anything. I thought you guys were good. I hope it all works itself out. Just keep living.”
- “Are you ok? Let me know if I can help. You know I will. Love, J!”
- “I’m so sorry baby! I had no idea. None of us did. We will always be friends.”
Today, I will remember that I am very, very lucky. Even if I’m not so lucky in love….