Project: Me

In times of crisis, there’s nothing I like better than a little avoidance through self-improvement. I have redecorated entire apartments in fits of anger or depression. I have registered for graduate schools following a good all-night argument. If you really tick me off or hurt me, I’m likely to have a full-page list of what to do about me going- covering every sort of makeover from the personal to the professional. So, I can spot all the signs today when I realize I have:

  • downloaded a webinar on how to make a crazy quilt and made a fabric store shopping list
  • mentally set aside time to get those highlights in my hair tomorrow
  • been reviewing my bellydancing choreography on the bus for tomorrow’s class
  • e-mailed some networking types I had started to let slide
  • sent off for my neglected absentee ballot
  • collected all my unused gift cards from Christmas and started browsing for bargains
  • organized my work calendar
  • started the Artist’s Way again fully intending to finish all twelve weeks this time
  • researched a college writing degree program
  • actually responded to my Dad’s silly email forward of the day with a witty comment
  • dashed off two large projects for work and scheduled three meetings for next week
  • bought the Baked Lays (ugh) instead of the Cheetos at lunch
  • answered my office phone on the second ring every time

Yep. It’s a new me.

 I suspect all this new-ness is a way to avoid the stuff I can’t fix right now, some sort of hardwired coping mechanism that an analyst would have a field day with.

Don’t ask me to figure that part out. I’m too busy- becoming the sort of person this never would have happened to.

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6 Comments

Filed under Daily Life, Lists, Soul Searching, Working for a Living

6 responses to “Project: Me

  1. Well, I’m glad that your avoidance technique is actually productive and positive for you. I feel like mine is a lot more destructive than that.

  2. The more I read your blog, the more I think you’re pretty awesome and should probably have someone who is equally as awesome. I mean, to literally find “comfort” from quilting. Awesome.

  3. I’m glad you’re able to get something positive and productive out of this at the very least. I know when I’m feeling angry or upset I can be at my most creative and hatch my most brilliant plans, so in a way it can really serve as a catalyst for some really important personal growth and a condusive use of time creatively. I hope so anyway. Argh. Take care.

  4. This post is the 3rd time recently someone I think is all kinds of awesome has mentioned the Artist’s Way. (Universe, I get it, I need to read the book.)

    I am glad to see you’re committing to yourself.

    It’s so hard when we are being batted about by relationship or other difficulties to lose sight of ourselves and our needs. You seem to be coping by simply doing what is best for you until you can deal with everything else.

  5. One should never deny herself Cheetos, especially in times of emotional crisis. 😉

    What kind of writing degree program? Local? I remember reading in your 101 list that you write poetry.

  6. Pingback: Self Improvement and Reverse Psychology « ELEANOR’S TROUSERS

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