This morning’s emails:
Me: If I am brutally murdered… Please Lord, you must be the first on the scene and do better than this husband:
“He heard the news from a police officer: His wife had been killed.
“She’s taken very good care of me,” Mr. Adam said. “She’s looked after me. She’s a good and decent woman. Never harmed anyone.” “
God forbid I should be remembered as harmless, good and decent. I suggest trampy, bitchy, witty, and “she had great shoes” as alternatives.
BC: don’t worry, after I draw attention from my OWN hysterics (vapors, smelling salts, u know) I will be more than delightfully tacky in describing your most delicious attributes.
“she took good care of me?” dear lord.
Me: I knew I could count on you. Make sure they know this is my natural haircolor and I was not a day over 29 as well.
(The woman had a doctorate in clinical psychology and 20 years in practice and she gets the “she took good care of me” treatment… sigh)
BC: well now you’re just asking me to flat lie… the shoes, bitchy, witty, etc. is no fabrication. But come on, who’s gonna believe me when I say not a day over 29? CLEARLY they’ll have assumed you’re not a day over 27…
Me: And that, my dear, is why you are my best friend.
BC: xoxox. happy v-day boo. B