Ho, ho…oh no…

This weekend, Pittsburgh was supposed to be hit with a giant storm that would lock us all down for the weekend, sending us scurrying for milk and bread at the store. Instead, we are still seeing some mildly laughable snow and rain. Nonetheless, I have been a good little elf and been very productive getting ready for Santa around these parts. The future mother-in-law and I spent Saturday where I had sworn not to tread this year- the mall. She tricked me, you see. She wanted to go to Barnes & Noble. There is one nearby, not in a mall, so I agreed- especially since she offered to drive me to get my state i.d. on the way.

To backtrack, I am a bad, bad, procrastinating woman. I have now lived in Pennsylvania for 18 months. I still bop around town on my Washington, DC photo i.d. I think sheer laziness has been all that has kept me from updating- it’s three long bus rides to the driver’s license place that’s open on the weekend and I just would rather, I don’t know, sleep maybe, than do that on a Saturday morning. My Washington, DC i.d. got the best of me though. It expires on December 23rd. I fly out for Atlanta on the 24th at 6:45 am.  And while I can’t be sure that the airline staff would catch my expired i.d., I also know that I have the kind of luck which would have me get to my parents’ house and be unable to return to Pittsburgh on the 27th due to security measures. So, I figured I’d dredge up my birth certificate and run down, handle the situation, and be done. A week before my flight.

Except that I couldn’t find the birth certificate anywhere in the piles of “important” paper I’ve collected through the years. But I did have the DC i.d., a long expired GA driver’s license, a renewal reminder from PA sent to my old address, some utility bills and the lease for my new address, a letter of congratulations I received at my new address from the Mayor’s office (hey, a girl’s gotta use her connections), my employee photo i.d., and a Social Security card. So, I lugged the giant folder of this stuff in and found myself at a cubicle with a very grumpy man who had definitely not found the Christmas spirit.

So, I set aside my feminist principles and put on my feminine wiles. I flirted. I smiled. I joked. I pouted. I begged. And I got my i.d. made in under 15 minutes flat on a Saturday afternoon- for free. All fees waved. I said a little thank you to the Blessed Virgin and the Flying Spaghetti Monster and away we went.

To the mall of all places. But that’s a story for another time.

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