So after years of calling it all a bunch of hooey, I broke down (somewhat literally) and got a therapist. A real honest-to-God licensed therapist being compensated at a ridiculously high rate by my excellent insurance to listen to me whine and not take her advice for an hour a week. But then an odd thing happened. My therapist started acting all “not that into you” towards me. I know you’re thinking I must be a neurotic mess, but hear me out.
It started when I had to skip an appointment to go to my sister’s wedding out of town. The next few weeks we missed an appointment while she took a vacation and when I called in sick to take a day off work. And then when I called she wasn’t returning my calls. I called twice and waited a week or two. Nothing. Out of the blue she calls three weeks later to schedule a last minute appointment at a rather inconvenient time. And this evening at the end of that appointment she said we should skip next week and move back to every-other-week appointments.
I’m starting to wonder whether I bore her… admittedly, my problems are somewhat low on the intensity scale, and my fiance’ refers to me as the sanest person he knows (and he knows from crazy…). I actually contemplated developing an interesting problem… or reflecting in some sort of Freudian way on my childhood until I could dredge up tears. But actually, I think it may be time for she and I to break up. She seems to think I’m ok. And lately, I actually feel ok. Maybe it was just a temporary breakdown? I’ll be interested to see if I keep holding it together.