About Eleanor

Hmmm… your Eleanor is a redhead, a Southerner by birth, a Pittsburgher by choice, a feminist by nature, a writer by passion, a local food junkie by stomach, a liberal by vote, an oldest child by birth order, a Capricorn, a bourbon drinker at times, and your correspondent. I can be reached at eleanorstrousers (at) gmail.com .

101 random things about me:

1. I collect old etiquette books, preferably 1945 or earlier, and sometimes wish those were still the rules.
2. I live with my fiance’ in a townhouse built in 1890. We rent.
3. I have two younger sisters- the Hippie and the Yuppie.
4. I wish I could write short fiction or creative non-fiction, but I’m a pretty fine poet.
5. I went to theatre school, business school, and law school, but wish I had studied English Lit.
6. I dream of owning one thing in every category that is good enough quality to never have to buy another again (i.e one good leather handbag, one nice dining room table, etc.)
7. I am 5′0″- I love a good pair of heels.
8. My favorite scents- pink grapefruit, vanilla, and pumpkin.
9. My current favorite perfume- Lovely. My all-time favorite- Tresor.
10. When I get upset my nostrils flare.
11. I am trying to cut back from my 6 Diet Coke/ day habit… or switch it to coffee.
12. I’m not “religious,” but spent a good bit of time as Southern Baptist. I collect Catholic-abilia, nonetheless. Virgin statues, holy cards, holy water containers, candles, incense, rosaries- I love it all.
13. I am a divine Tetris player- but when I fall asleep I see the little pieces after I close my eyes. I don’t play very often.
14. Favorite cocktails: bourbon and Diet Coke, Yuengling beer, oatmeal cookie shots.
15. I read- sometimes 4 books a week.
16. I totally adore Wonder Woman stuff.
17. I live for the Waffle House- luckily, the closest one is an hour away.
18. When I was in high school, my nickname was Mouse.
19. When I was in middle school, my nickname was Shrub- I had HUGE hair.
20. I lived with a stripper for one drunken year- she was the best and worst roommate ever.
21. I have had 52 jobs. Yep. And I don’t get fired.
22. Every time I play the lottery I actually think I’ll win, and get bummed when I don’t.
23. Outside of my fiance’, all of my best friends are gay men.
24. I can’t really get into myspace, but am growing hooked on Facebook.
25. I have never owned enough bookshelves to have all of my books out- there are still boxes of them in my spare bedroom.
26. If I don’t get enough sleep, I am unbearably bitchy. It has led to break-ups. It’s that bad.
27. Favorite foods- steak, the Triple Play at Chili’s, shrimp (at the beach), French bread and good cheese with farmer’s market fruit.
28. Favorite color- Tiffany blue (or robin’s egg blue).
29. My hair is actually strawberry blonde but I dye it a darker red. It suits me.
30. I smoke Parliament Lights. I’m not proud of it, but I do.
31. I once worked at the Pentagon. I hated every minute of it.
32. I hit snooze approximately 97 times every morning.
33. Cold weather makes me cry. I’m Southern and not cut out for it.
34. I love to watch award shows. When people give moving speeches, I cry every time.
35. Favorite TV shows: House, Project Runway, Pimpeando (the Latino Pimp My Ride), the L Word, Charmed, Def Poetry Jam, any political debate.
36. My new laptop is my pride and joy- even if I don’t always make the payments on time.
37. After 17 months, I still have a cell phone contract with my ex because I am too lazy to go through the hassle of separating the contract. My fiance’ is not pleased.
38. In high school, my bedroom was black-and-white cow print everything.
39. I hate being around drunk people when I’m sober.
40. I lost 40 pounds after my last breakup. I got engaged and put twenty of it right back on.
41. I am a piler. There are little piles of stuff all over my house. I rarely ever go through the piles.
42. I used to write letters to my Congressmen all the time. After I moved to DC and realized they were being answered by 19 year old interns, I quit.
43. I am a feminist, but I don’t think makeup and the occassional rowdy adult film are the worst things ever. In fact I kind of enjoy both of those….
44. I have a box of craft supplies I haven’t used in a few years, but always think of taking vacation time to make stuff.
45. I was once a certified ear piercer at the mall. If I maimed any of you, I’m sorry.
46. I have three tattoos. I want to remove one of them because it sticks out of most professional clothes, and I’m a lot less hardcore than I used to be.
47. My mother is perfect. That’s a lot to live up to. Unfortunately she’s also really nice about it, which makes it even more challenging.
48. I am a preppy girl who secretly wishes she was a hipster. Except I like the classics.
49. I interviewed one time to be a receptionist at a brothel. I didn’t get the job.
50. I have tons of blank journals that I’m always trying to fill, but I always buy new ones when I see them.
51. I keep my New Year’s resolutions in my desk at work.
52. I collect quotes and have them jotted down on scraps of paper all over the house. I used to put them on Post-Its on my bathroom mirror, but since I moved in with the fiance’, he doesn’t want inspiration every time he pees.
53. One time the neighbors called the police because my fiance’ and I were loudly fighting at 3 am. I shouldn’t have shouted “You’re hurting me!” but it was funny trying to explain that I was only in drunken emotional pain
54. I love brunch in any form.
55. I don’t own a car and let my driver’s license expire seven years ago. I take the bus.
56. I took way more Women’s Studies classes in school than I needed to for my minor. I wish I could take more.
57. I have always regretted the three years that I didn’t speak to my best friend. He was angry that I had moved out without notice and in with a person he despised. We got back in touch, but we don’t talk about those years much. It’s too painful.
58. I have never been much of a music fan. It’s my secret shame. Honestly, I hardly ever listen to music of any kind. At trivia, oddly, I can only answer country music questions.
59. I am a compulsive list maker. I have lists of every category imaginable.
60. My future sister-in-law is my mini-me (and I love it).
61. The fiance’ thinks we’re going to name our first son Atrayu. It will never happen.
62. I apply for jobs about an hour a day at work. The rest of the time I surf the Web. I am paid very well for this.
63. I would live in pajama pants and T-shirts if I could find a way to do so. Thus my fantasies of living off freelance writing.
64. I have always worried that I am not good at being a girl, even though I am pretty good at girlyness in general.
65. I got the highest SAT score in my high school. That has never mattered since.
66. Eleanor Roosevelt was my favorite first lady- I used to go often to the exhibit at the National History Museum to look at her portion of the exhibit.
67. It makes me nervous that my fiance’ used to be a chef- he will always be a better cook than I am, even if he prefers home cookin’ to the fancy dishes he knows how to prepare.
68. I am incredibly disorganized. My sister, the Yuppie, is not. She will inevitably have a more successful career than me.
69. I check CNN five times a day. My conversations are like streaming news feeds….
70. I read almost everything Marge Piercy ever wrote. I like anything without cats in it. I try to love the cat poems too, but I just can’t do it. Otherwise, those poems got me through college.
71. My secret music jones, when I get one, is for LFO songs- they always make me laugh. Luckily, my fiance’ secretly likes them too. One of the many reasons I love him…
72. I am amazingly good at assembling crappy furniture from Target and IKEA.
73. I would rather never own another pet for the rest of my life. I like my Beta fish, but otherwise, no thanks. I know this makes me a horrible person. I had a dog once with an ex. He loved to bite me as often as possible and drag me around the block and pee on the carpet. He was a 70 pound terror. He ate my pearl earrings out of spite and would attack me when I tried to get in bed or sit on the couch with my ex. It was hell. I never want to go back. And cats… well, not for me.
74. I am an ordained online minister of the Universal Life Church. I could legally marry people in some states.
75. I had a very brief college acting career playing Old Woman #4 in Lysistrata and Servant, Act 3 in MacBeth. My parents are so proud.
76. I once played a corporate mascot in a parade and shared my float with the Power Rangers.
77. I was in a Super Bowl halftime show with my high school dance team.
78. I wear a lot of black- not because it’s fashionable or I like it, but because at some pivotal stage of puberty I read in some girl magazine that it makes you look skinny.
79. I learned most of the Spanish I know from the English/ Spanish directions on household products.
80. I once tried to avoid seasonal depression by decorating my bedroom in hot pink and orange. I think it worked, but I got into a long term relationship and moved a month after I did it, so I can’t be sure.
81. I never eat mayonnaise in or on anything unless I can pretend it’s not even in a recipe (i.e. spinach dip). Ditto for cold cuts- they all taste like mayo to me.
82. I was fairly obsessed in college with having pretty and soft feet.
83. I hate almost all war and cop movies. In fact, I can’t stand to watch movies or read books without female characters, period.
84. I never learned how to ride a bike, dive into a swimming pool, or whistle.
85. Sometimes I put things on my to-do list that I have already done so that I can cross them off.
86. I am an office supply junkie.
87. I can do an entire 30 minute monologue, complete with photo evidence on the fact that my middle school haircuts are proof that my parents hated me. Or used me as an experiment. Or just liked to laugh.
88. When I jump on my left foot, it makes my teeth hurt.
89. My Starbucks drink of choice is a venti sugar-free vanilla non-fat latte with three Splendas.
90. I have attended five colleges. I have two degrees.
91. If I know I’m about to have to do something I’ve never done before, I read a book about it or look it up online. I know you can’t learn everything about life from books. I just want to be prepared. I want to be prepared, because despite the fact that I claim to be delighted by them, I really hate surprises.
92.  Leather pants do it for me. On men, on women: what can I say? I dig them.
93. I once cracked a rib coughing due to bronchitis- they gave me the good drugs.
94. At various points in my childhood, I wanted to be an architect, a nurse, a journalist, a lawyer, an actress, and a ballerina.
95. My worst-case-scenario plan is to run away to New Orleans and start a new life under an assumed name. I think I could get away with it there.
96. I have learned from experience never to date actors, soldiers, or police officers.
97. I love to go “missing” for a day- leave my cell phone behind and go wandering around, shopping, sitting in a coffeehouse, people-watching.
98. I had a goldfish as a child that lived for seven years and was named after my swimming teacher.
99. I love food from booths- street carnivals, state fairs, outdoor concerts. Yum!
100. I had stitches on my head twice as a child- both from jumping into pointy corners of objects. I wish had the energy to jump anymore….
101. My father is British and my mother is a Southern belle, which means I know the proper way to speak and know when to milk the southern accent to get what I want. Thanks Mom and Dad.